Misadventures Misdemeanors And My Mothers Bed
by Nat1
Summary: Finn was going to burn in hell, dragging Logan and Colin with him, there was no way around it. Every time she thought these guys could not shock her they had to go and do something like this… one shot - complete


Authors Note: Huge thanks to Surya for this one, cause she's the one who made me do it. J What a honey. More AN to follow so I don't spoil…

**Misadventures Misdemeanors And My Mothers Bed**

Finn was going to burn in hell, dragging Logan and Colin with him, there was no way around it. Every time she thought these guys could not shock her they had to go and do something like this…

"Is that the doorbell? Emily, is that the doorbell?"

"Yes Richard. It is. Who could be calling at this time of night?" Emily stood from the sofa and moved to the doorway. "Rebecca? Rebecca!"

Rebecca, the newest maid in a long line of maids moved into Rory's view.

"Go answer the door. I don't know who it could possibly be at this time of night, but get rid of them please."

Rebecca nodded and left while Lorelai leaned over and whispered into Rory's ear, "This time of night? It's not even eight on a Friday. Just when I was starting to think my parents were _slightly_ cool…"

Her voice tapered off leaving a wicked grin.

"Something amusing Lorelai?"

"No dad."

"I see you're smiling. There must be something amusing."

"No dad."

"Really Lorelai, what-"

"I'm very sorry Mrs Gilmore," The maid interrupted, "But it's a friend of your granddaughter's. He says it's important."

"Important? What could be- Why! Hello there Logan! How are you young man?" Richard jumped up to shake his hand.

"I'm well thank you Richard. Emily, you're looking well." He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek while Rory rolled her eyes at Lorelai. She in return crossed her eyes and stuck a finger in her mouth.

"Logan, would you care for a drink?"

"No thank you Richard, I am sorry to interrupt your evening, but well, I need to steal Rory. We have a bit of an, umm, _delicate_ situation, that we need her help with."

"Who is 'we'?" Rory scowled in Logan's direction.

"Finn, Colin and I. Please Ror, we desperately need your help." He gave her his best Bambi impersonation. She rolled her eyes again.

"What has Finn done this time?"

"It wasn't Finn. Not this time, not exactly, it was Colin. We don't really have much time, I'm sorry Emily, Richard…"

"No of course not! Rory, you must go help. There's obviously something afoot!" Richard winked at her.

"Did you see that Ror? Did he just wink at you?" Lorelai's head swung from Rory to Richard. "Did you just _wink_ at her?"

"Really Lorelai." Emily placed her drink on the table. "Come along Rory dear, let's get your coat."

"Why did you say you wanted me instead of her? She gets to have all the fun. Away from here."

Logan grinned. "Next time. Richard, nice to see you, sorry again."

With that he strolled out of the room following Rory and Emily. Leaving Richard with Lorelai.

"God that kid is like Christopher."

"Indeed he is, indeed he is." Richard took another sip of his drink while Lorelai downed her in one go.

"What the hell is going on Logan? Why did you drag me away from dinner?" Logan opened the door to his explorer and gave Rory a boost up. "Hands Logan!"

"You grandmother is inside already." He pulled her to him and kissed her neck.

"Mmm. Nice." Rory responded as he pulled away. "But its not gonna stop the questions Logan. What's going on?"

He slammed her door shut and made his way around the truck. Rory waited until the vehicle was in motion before turning her body to face him. "Logan."

He ran his hand through his hair. "Right okay."

Minutes past. "I'm waiting!"

"There was an incident."

"This much I know. Tell me what the hell is happening!"

"We were just hanging around… Bored out of our minds, so we decide to go out. We get to the pub, we drink, we drink a lot-"

"Pull this goddamned truck over. _Now_!"

Taking one look at her pissed off face Logan immediately put his turning signal on and pulled over to the edge of the road.

"Get the hell _out_ of the drivers seat." They changed sides, Rory slamming the door and muttering under her breath about how much of a moron he was.

"For someone so smart I cant believe how you're so dumb sometimes Logan!"

"I know, I'm sorry."

Rory sighed. "Just tell me the story."

"Right, so we're drinking, trying to think of things to do when Finn suggested…"

Rory rolled her eyes. "_What_ did Finn _suggest_?"

"It was more of a dare really, which is why we couldn't say no, why _Colin_ couldn't say no. Then cause he looked like he might _actually_ say no, I bet him a grand he wouldn't do it."

"So of course he said yes."

"His father has cut him off for the month… Something about the houseboat."

"Whatever Logan. On with the story."

"Yeah, so Colin does the dare, and we get busted! I mean it was totally a fluke that the campus cops turn up, and of course after the _last_ incident they decide to make an example of him! Can you believe that? Anyways, me and Finn make a run for it, cause they hadn't actually seen us, not until we started to run anyway, then Colin that big idiot, decided to yell at us, and can you believe he yells out our names?"

Rory looked at him. "You three are like peas in a pod, and no matter how much you like to look down on the campus cops, they're not _that_ dumb. If one of you is involved, you all are. You think they wouldn't have figured out it was you and Finn?"

"Uh huh, so we decide to split up… Finn followed Colin while I came to get you."

"And you came to get me why?"

"Well, they brought in the staties, and Colin has been arrested…"

"Jesus Logan! What did you guys _do_?"

"We need you to go bail him out. Finn and I have decided that our showing our faces in the police station might be pressing our luck just a little too far."

Rory sighed and looked to the roof of the car speaking to the heavens. "Why me? Huh? What did I do to deserve such an idiotic boyfriend?"

Logan smiled and put his hand on her thigh. "You really want an answer?"

"Just shut up." Rory pulled the explorer into the car park for Logan's dorm. "How much is Colin's bail?"

"I don't know, and listen, can we go somewhere else? Like _away_ from our dorm? You're right about the fuzz, they know about our pea pod thing, so being at our dorm? Not really a good idea right now."

"I'm going to get Finn and I'm going to get you all some clothes. As fun as it would be to see you all in Luke's flannels, I don't think he'd appreciate it." Rory climbed out of the car taking the keys with her.

"You think Finn's here?"

"Where else would he go? You got cash on you? Cause Stars Hollow? Not fond of credit cards."

"Come on Ace, you don't mean to tell me you're taking us all the Stars Hollow for the weekend. Do you? And don't leave me here!"

"Pull a blanket over your head." Rory said before slamming the door closed.

Rory returned to the truck with bags of clothes and Finn who was huddled under a blanket pretending to cough.

"I'm dying! You're taking me to the hospital now aren't you? Alice? Where are you Alice! I can't see you Alice!"

Rory opened the back door and threw the bags in before pushing Finn in after them. "Yes, _Jason_ I'm taking you to the hospital. Now get your ass into the car and shut up."

She rounded the explorer and climbed into the drivers' seat firmly closing the door. "Where are they holding Colin?"

"In town, Edgewood street station." Logan answered in a whisper.

"Logan?" Finn whisper shouted in the back.

"Finn?" Logan whisper shouted back.

"You're both idiots." Rory answered in her normal voice starting the truck.

Rory slammed into the police station, angry because she'd had to park two blocks away because Logan and Finn were paranoid. Walking up to the officer on duty she gave him her best smile. Wincing when she felt it fall into a scowl.

"I'm here to pick up Colin."

"Last name?"

"You know what? I'm not sure. I don't think I've ever heard it."

"You don't know the guys last name, but you're gonna bail him out?"

"Yes."

"A thousand bucks for a guy who's last name you don't know?"

"Its not my money. Its my boyfriends"

"Listen kid, I don't have time for this crap."

Rory glanced to the open crossword on the desk in front of them. "Right. You just give a yell for Colin. The guy who was arrested at Yale tonight. And I'll give you the money and take that moron off your hands for the night."

The police officer started laughing. "That Colin? Yale Colin? Hey Jimmy! There's a girl here to bail out the Yale kid!"

There was more laughter from the backroom. "I'll bring him out Pete."

"So, Honey," Pete started to pull out a load of paper, "You look like a smart young lady, so what on earth are you doing with a juvenile like this Colin kid?"

"Oh he's not my boyfriend." Rory rolled her eyes. "My boyfriend is hiding under a blanket in a car a few blocks away."

Pete looked up from where he was signing the papers. "I thought you said this was your boyfriends money."

"It is. He owes it to Colin." Rory leaned her elbows on the desk. "There were arguments for and against it, but apparently just because he was caught doing whatever it was he was doing, he was finished by the time the campus cops turned up, so the dare is valid, and that means Logan has to pay."

"Some of you kids have more money than sense." Pete shook his head before grinning. "You don't know what he was doing?"

"No, and I don't _want_ to know."

"Ok, official business. Do you understand that by signing this form and paying this money, you are responsibly for the discharged person until such time as his courts date comes. You are responsible for getting to court on time. If he does not appear you will forfeit the bond and he will be a wanted felon? Do you understand this?"

"I understand."

"Sign here please. Okay Jimmy! Bring out the kid." He handed Rory a paper bag. "These are the possessions he came in with. One watch, one wig and one Groucho Marx disguise."

Colin came out and Rory's eyes opened comically wide. "Where are his clothes? Where are your clothes?"

"Probably right where he left them." Jimmy chimed in helpfully.

Colin adjusted the towel around his waist. "Under the bushes a few doors down from Doctor Haughton's house then."

"Doctor Haughton?" Rory held up her hand. "No forget it. I _don't_ want to know."

"Ror-"

"Just shut up Colin. I've had it up to my eyeballs with you three tonight-"

"You _know_ where the other two are? Why aren't they _here_?"

"Because they're even bigger idiots than you are. Pete, would you happen to have any spare clothes around that might fit him? I'll bring them back tomorrow."

"Just let me go through the lost property box. Might find something you can have."

"Thanks." Rory pushed Colin onto a small plastic seat in the foyer. "Sit Ubu."

"Its too late and I'm too cold to figure out your pop culture references Gilmore. Play nice."

Rory folded her arms over her chest and leaned back against the reception desk glaring at Colin.

"Colin. If you say one _single_ wrong thing to me, I will, so help me god, leave your ass here to freeze. Do you understand?" With his comically wide he nodded. "Good."

"Here we go." Pete came back out holding some clothes. "Best I could do for you."

"Thanks Pete." Rory smiled gratefully.

"No charge." He winked at her while Colin rolled his eyes at them behind Rory's back.

"I'll just be getting dressed then shall I?"

"I'll be waiting outside." Rory let the door slam behind her.

"Hell of a girl there."

Colin winced. "I have a feeling, that come tomorrow, as much as I agree now, I probably wont then."

"Why not?"

"She has a very penetrating voice first thing in the morning when she's pissed off."

Pete laughed. "You better go catch her, cause she just walked off down the street."

"Dammit!" Colin let the door slam behind him.

Jimmy laughed. "College kids."

"We're here." Rory pulled into the driveway of the Gilmore house in Stars Hollow and turned off the engine. There was the light ticking as it cooled and a snorting snore from the back. She put her fingers to her lips and let loose a sharp whistle.

All three heads jerked up.

"We're here."

"Jesus." Finn let out a jaw-cracking yawn.

Rory climbed out of the truck and pulled the key out from under the turtle on the porch. Moving inside, she turned on the lights and smirked to herself as all three winced in the brightness.

"Now, we have a couch, a single bed and a double bed. How do you want to work this?"

"I'll share the double with you." Finn winked at her, grimacing when Logan elbowed him. "Fine, but I'm not sharing with Colin. He kicks."

"And you're a cover hog."

"Cute, you two are a riot. You can settle between the two of you who gets the couch and who gets the bed. There are linens in the cupboard there. Logan you're with me upstairs."

"Isn't that Lorelai's room?"

"Yes."

"Where is she? I'm not sleeping in your mothers bed."

Rory sighed. "She's at Luke's, and you can sleep on the floor for all I care. I'm going to bed. Good night."

Colin and Finn immediately began scrapping for the bed while Rory walked up the stairs. A minute later Logan followed.

Rory was already in bed when he let himself into the room, softly closing the door behind him. "This is weird."

"Either get in and shut up or go away."

Logan striped down to his boxers and tee shirt crawling in next to her. As usual feeling her warm next to his now only slightly drunk self did things to his body that only she could fix. He pressed against her.

"Ror, have I thanked you for saving the day yet?"

"Logan Huntzberger. I _swear to god_ that if you don't back away now I will remove your testicles with cleaning products. Do you understand?"

Logan flung himself back. "Yes ma'am."

Two minutes later he was back to cuddling her. "Ror…"

"Jesus Logan! Five minutes ago you didn't even _want_ to sleep in my mothers bed because it was too weird for you. Now you want to have _sex_ in here? Are you _out of your mind_?"

"Probably, but its just thanks, for tonight. You are an awesome girl."

"If you say I'm _undeniable_ I will smack you."

"No, I just want you to know that I, that _we_ appreciate what you did."

Rory turned in his arms. "So _what_ did happen?"

Logan wiggled. "It's really all Finn's fault."

"Just tell me."

"Well there was that big medical alumni dinner thing happening at Doctor Haughton's, you knew that right?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so we're bored and Finn decides that we need to do something. Me and Colin are pretty happy just drinking, but Finn is bored-"

"No pretty girls?"

"No redheads."

"Right"

"So anyways, Finn decides that to get us playing he'll dare us. And he dare's Colin to streak the dinner." Logan grins and she rolls her eyes. "Yeah, pretty lame, that's what I said. He goes off to get us the next round of drinks and you can see when he's standing at the bar that he gets another idea, cause he kind of straightens up."

"And then?"

"He comes back to the table, with more drinks than we need and announces that we'll have to fortify ourselves, cause he's got the perfect dare. Colin is to walk, not run, walk through the party, naked, wearing a wig and Groucho disguise. He has to have at least one drink on his way through and he must talk to at least one of the women in there on his way through."

Finn was going to burn in hell, dragging Logan and Colin with him, there was no way around it. Every time she thought these guys could not shock her they had to go and do something like this.

"Logan…"

"Well that all went as planned… Though he did was pretty fast. And I think he only said hello to that one woman, not exactly a conversation-"

"Logan! How did you end up paying out a grand for this?"

"Oh, yeah we were still at the pub, and Colin looked like he was gonna say no, and really, if he had said no, everyone would have found out about it."

"You don't think everyone is going to find out about it anyway?"

"Yes, but they wont find out that he said no will they? They'll find out that he actually _did_ it."

"Right, really logical thinking."

"It all went as planned. Just that when he finally got out, he needed to pee so badly he just went right there in the front yard! And of course that's when the campus cops came and-"

"Of course."

"-And they called in the state cops, and Colin was arrested and everything went sort of down hill right about there."

"So the night was a bust then?" Rory asked with a raised brow.

"Well, not totally." Logan smirked pulling her closer. "I mean, right now for instance, it's looking pretty damn good."

"I am _not_ having sex with you in my mothers bed Logan!"

End

AN2: I obviously know nothing about police procedures in the US… but whatever, if you feel the urge, please review.


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